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Suffering in races?
Then you need
Balaclava man will guarantee to get you into a medal position in the race of your choice. How does it work?It's easy. You enter the race of your choice completing the application form as normal with your own personal and club details. Get your race number and pin it to your vest then proceed to do all of the pre race warm ups including stretches and jogging etc. Make sure to chat to as many people as possible to get your face and number recognised. Whilst in conversation ensure to speak with a muffled voice as if you have a cold (cotton wool inserted into your nostrils should do the trick). With 2 minutes to the start of the race you take out your balaclava and place it over your head in full view of all other competitors and spectators. Explain to everyone that you have a bad head cold and that you need to keep as warm as possible during the race. Now for the clever bit Balaclava Man will finish the race in medal position and immediately upon crossing the line will shoot behind the bush explaining to the crowds that the head cold is affecting his bladder. At this stage you will switch vests again. To add to the authenticity remember to hold your breath and spray yourself with water to make it look like you've been working hard. If it's a muddy race then rub mud on your legs and dirty your trainers. Keep the balaclava on. You are ready to emerge from the bush yourself exclaiming loudly "Ah...I needed that". 
Job's a good'n Contact Endorsements
Balaclava man worked for me. I was running crap but with the help of Blaclava man I managed to get a
great position in the National Cross Country Championships. I was first home
for my club and subsequently won an award at our Presentation Evening. I owe it all to Balaclava Man.
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